Sun July 22 2001, 07:25




                           for fun and profit. i felt like expressing my true inner feelings by being a funny wise guy and acting

                           full name: null fame
                           sex: female
                           born: june 27 1980
                           born in: conroe texas
                           resides in: san jose california
                           height/weight: 007 at ocean's 11
                           eyes/hair: browbn poo.
                           shoe size: blah blah blah i am cool
                           ethnicity: honkimuffin (w/cinnamon) (big “thanx“ to esteb for this one)
                           sign: nausea, temporary blindness hallucinations, anal leakage
                           smoke: yellow
                           drink: the continent of africa
                           do drugs: uh... ok! just get off my back man
                           shampoo: biolage (what the hell is this crap?)
                           toothpaste: like a horrible nightmare from which one cannot wake
                           dental floss: butt
                           deodorant: does this really matter? reminder: i suck
                           favorite alcoholic drink: the continent of africa
                           favorite webpage: very funny
                           favorite tv show: x-files with mulder...oh my god scully and mulder kissed!:)
                           what's on your mouse pad: weezer
                           favorite magazine: assy
                           favorite smells: grant
                           future daughters name: sydney, carlie, Hortense
                           future sons name: lucas, joshua, the gay
                           list all pets: reggie the iguana, jake the fat cat, chloe the brat cat. in texas: buster the freak cat, taffy
                           the chihuahua. in
                           georgia: sandie the lab, QMF-CDJ1000 the unstoppable cybernetic war machine designed by Area 51 lab
                           rats and made completely of FISTS.
                           list all family members: my main main pete nice, over-dog real scrillah mofo joshua rilez, the original
                           golden killah boy prof. fuck, wild child dialed chestiny lahonda, my right hand and stright owt tha sewa
                           roots manuva Lee “Carlos“ Lee Doug E., needs no introduction Vaginal Creme Davis, tha dawgs from the
                           crip hood scrillah g-fonk homey grabs robbixn tha hood gutta old skool hustla momma's chillin' servin
                           cream on dey streetz freshy G cradle rock Water 100m Resistant holmes crack dealin skillz to pay tha
                           billz spinning fist style thug life+class of 2k 4eva i'm out
                           list all ex-boyfriends: i'd rather not!!!
                           who is your favorite poet/lyricist: “I“ am the lyrical gangsta
                           would you ever ask the guy for the shirt off his back: I never ask I do the killin and the stillin
                           what is on the walls of your room: event horizon-style moist steamy gooey human effluence and guts
                           and raw sewer-age and brains igor
                           is the glass half empty or half full: i need a 40
                           lefty, righty or ambidextrous: right-wing rebels
                           do you type with your fingers on the right keys: i am a rebel
                           what's under your bed: dead wild cat that I found on an embankment along a highway in rural Georgia
                           what is your dream car: Nash Rambler
                           favorite sport to watch: celebrity mudwrestling with mikhail gorbachev
                           truth or dare: YES> truth: one time, I spent a night in mexico city with this large bodyguard for the crack
                           king of central america pointing his russian surplus assault rifle into my nostril and forcing me to lick
                           envelopes and write addresses with the blood off my tongue; and I escaped when a kindhearted street
                           rat took mercy on me and took me to the sultan's court to tell my story of woe and when they found out
                           that enrique iglesias was the drug king they decided i was a fraud and sent me in a videotape-sized
                           postal box to Jersey where i hitchhiked and killed those who picked me up for money and became the
                           legendary hitchhiker murderer and appeared in urban legends books and went on letterman from the
                           fame i had gained and then i performed an alien autopsy blindfolded on CNN's Hardball with Chris
                           Matthews and did my own voice for the simulcast in spanish
                           WWF or WCW: muthafukin nWo
                           ocean or pool: a duck
                           cake or pie: i eat cake like sandwich bread BIG $$$$
                           “sean“, “shawn“, or “shaun“: i killed that fucka
                           gum- spit or swallow: swallow DEEZ NUTZ! (gesture violently towards one's nutz)
                           love or lust: DEEZ NUTZ! (point finger down)
                           walmart, k-mart, or target: hard target
                           read or write: bust caps
                           sun or snow: k-freeze my shades
                           lay on the beach or play in the sand: bay on the leech
                           bagel or doughnut: sad rockets- heavy meta
                           chocolate or vanilla: chocolate looooove (UNEDITED BY ME)
                           wild or mild: x-filed wild child bill nye-led piled beguiled igor get me a knife
                           croutons or bacon bits: fakin bakon
                           sit in the stands or play the game: play the game and smoke yo asz
                           ice cream or frozen yogourt: stay on the scene shamma lamma ding dong
                           tea or coffee: neither? like a sex machine ooh ee ooh ah ah
                           read the book or see the movie: fuck shit up old skool
                           cassettes or cd's: food and cassettes and stufff and stuff
                           opening envelopes- knife or tear it: igor find me a brain
                           democrat or republican: republicrat
                           smell or taste: taste DEEZ NUTZ! (finger points down to nutz)
                           coke or pepsi: the souls of the damned
                           care bears or rainbow brite: how can you choose between those two?!?! BOTH! (W95 what the hell is this
                           frogs or toads: YogaFrog, Q-Bert, DJ CA$H MONEY
                           tootsie-pop or blow-pop: blow DEEZ NUTZ!
                           big red, doublemint, or juicy fruit: the taste the taste the taste is gonna mo-oove ya!
                           broom or mop: ma bich duz ma kleanin
                           dogs or cats: flaming turd in bag on doorstep
                           boxers or briefs: that shit gives you cancer or somethin.
                           french poodle, french fries, or french kiss: french ninja
                           taco or burrito: gastrocnemiated maximania fabulor.
                           cell phone or pay phone: BEDROCZIN' WIT DA TOEN DILA
                           pen or pencil: pen better for silent assassination
                           armageddon or independence day: pootie tang (“yo gonna sell this?“ advertisement for Tang)
                           early bird or night owl: (krust vocal)WHUHGGHGHGHT-THE-FUUUUUUUGHGHGHGHGH
                           hug or kiss: ze ant is made of six easy to assemble structures
                           showers or baths: depends on whether the brotha is dead or drunk
                           have you ever gone skinny dipping?: i drowned in my own vomit and ever since then I have been forced
                           to livin in a beachball to avoid moisture
                           do you have any piercings? tattoos?: “SUBLIE“ ACROSS MY BACK THE GUY FORGOT THE M!!!
                           do you want any:I cant get no SA-TIS-FAC-SHUN
                           what the hell kinda name is chong: my dad's chinese, man
                           do you wear glasses: when I perform surgery in taxicabs/elevators, I often employ the help of
                           spacemen made of stacks of wax being commanded by mindbending aliens with their eyes on the prize
                           and glasses and the michelin man from Ghostbusters making the imitation gruel coagulant if I need to
                           stop the bleeding from the carotid artery
                           did you eat crayons as a kid: just playdoh, and ass
                           do you consider yourself a good listener: both ears were removed by my car stereo, as was the
                           do you sing in the shower: i gun doughn kopz an sekurity gods
                           do you talk to yourself: not as much as grant does!
                           do you talk in your sleep: “this place is laced with jungle fever...“
                           do you snore: only when my nostrils have been filled with superglue by my three year old son god
                           bless'm but i'm gonna kill that little shit
                           do you shave your legs: most of the time, except for when I like have to eat and sleep and stuff
                           what causes do you believe in: solving the problem of world hunger, mumia abu-jamal, anti-racist
                           action, the cause of DEEZ NUTZ!
                           what do you think is gross: you better pray i'm a stamp, 'cause that's the only way i'll ever get licked!
                           what scares you: none of your horses came in today.
                           where are your ancestors from: high flyin high-kickin karate kid 14-creating hormonally imbalanced
                           rhino recycler subtractive synthesis unstoppable streak space monster killin'...forgot the question
                           what do you say funny: philo
                           what is your worst injury ever?: i busted my ass day and night
                           what is the hardest thing about growing up?: doing the Locomotion
                           do you believe in love at first sight?: i pull out a book entitle “ho's I knows“
                           have you ever been in love: yes, with grantypoo :)
                           what is the best feeling in the world?: doing the Wild Thing
                           favourite quote: “blah blah blah something funny because it sounds sooooooo wrong“
                           are you crossing your legs right now: I am blowin up tha spot
                           what is the worst feeling in the world?: missing grant
                           do you think looks are important?: how else is she gonna get anyone to hire her for a trick, Hector?
                           how many kids do you want to have: robot army
                           when do you want to get married: when the cheech is beeeeeeeeee lieeeehhhh.... and all
                           the wooooooooooool.... within you ......dieeeeeeeeee.........

                           email me back with a response under 5 words. i know exactly what i want.